Heads up, I am passing all but one class and that class is English but I'm working diligently to correct it. I am tired so tired but I needed to do some reflection. My mindset is making some changes. I've decided I'm tired of working for people who only care to pad their pockets. My dream job is to bring yoga to all the world and be all zenful and ish but until we get there I really want to focus on service work.
Community service work is a fabulous path to follow but for now I am focused on public service in general. It's no secret that I need stability. Knowing I survived today so I can survive tomorrow is essential in my daily function but I'm obviously not functioning at capacity lately. A leap of faith is necessary. So I've officially changed my major to Human Services. It's exciting and scary. It will take a little longer simply for an Associate degree but I feel like it is a better choice for me where I am right now.
I have had a lot of conversations with myself lately. Those long drives everyday give me time to really discuss life and options with, well me. I want to help people. I want to inspire people. Now, I'm not saying some counseling or social work job is going to change the world but it has the ability to change one persons world. To aid a child in finding something they didn't know they were missing. Possibly leading an adolescent to find themselves. That's where I lost myself. Somewhere in adolescence I learned to dislike myself and I have spent years digging me out of that ditch I threw myself into.
It's horrible to say I did that to myself but it's true. I gave up on me. There were contributing factors but they can hold no blame. By no means am I healed or found either. Step one is identifying the problem and I have been my own worst enemy (Thanks, LIT.) I'm going to try to stop standing in my own way and reminding myself that I'm not this or that. I'm going to make a conscious effort to do better for me. I can't expect others to treat me well if I don't know what it means to treat myself well.
I've also decided to honestly try to put one foot in front of the other and focus on my health. It's no secret a have fallen of that wagon once or twice... thrice. But as Advocare has taught me it's about progress, there isn't a thing in this world that is perfect. Now we will celebrate the wins that are happening that allow me to appreciate this moment to continue on my journey.
First, I made it through a month and a half of school and I'm kind of passing. I have paid my bills for a month without over-drafting my account or getting a late fee. I have been blessed with a vehicle to drive, even if it isn't mine and it requires it's on personal oil tanker. I am surviving. I haven't needed a moment to go to the bathroom and cry at work in a few weeks. And the tears I did cry were necessary tears of grief. These are the stars in my sky right now.
I'm setting a small health goal for myself in the next 30 days. I will commit to a workout regimen before the 30 days passes. I will also promise to take my supplements and eat clean as part of the Summer Slim Down group challenge some of my Advocare loves are partaking in. It's a promise to myself but keep a look out to make sure I don't dive in on some donuts or lazily sleep in on workout day. See more below...
Summer Slim Down:
Workout Plan:
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