It's Time To Feel Good

So recently, I've found some love for myself I didn't realize I wasn't expressing but that also brought me to a new summer theme. A feel good summer. I want to support feeling good in healthy ways always but as I'm surrounded by pushes for bikini bodies and slimming down (which are great if that's what you're aiming for) I'm reminded that's not what everyone is aiming for and it's not also as easy for some as it is for others. But feeling good is attainable. And a good measure for everyone. I'm gonna go on and say this one time, do not shame someone for seeking medical attention for depression or anxiety because they could've done it a natural way. Just FYI: that's totally not true for just everyone. But also, I do support combining alternative and modern medicines if modern medicine is needed. And of course, I also realize that sometimes you can't go about the alternative way because your depression and /or anxiety is clouding you and making you so unable to do more than the bare minimum that the idea of trying something "natural" while in that fog is nearly impossible. That's okay too. You got this, however works for you.

But now that we have the chance, lets focus on some feeling good. Eating the good foods that make you feel like you could take on the world. And less of the foods that, while delicious, make you feel tired and heavy and bloated, so bloated. Go out in the sunshine (with sunscreen) or the shade and touch the water or walk in the park or just sit on your porch. Practice yoga, even if you feel ridiculous doing it (try it in your living room or with other yogis.) Or simply sit in the quiet and just breathe. Workout. You don't have to be running marathons or lifting heavy. 20 mins, 3 times a week doing something small in your living room. Keep those endorphins flowing and dedicate time to you. Drink the water. I know all water doesn't taste the same and some people don't like it and hell there are people in this country who don't have access to clean water so don't take yours for granted and keep your body hydrated (and donate to the Flint Water Fund if you have the means.) If you need to there are plenty of things you can add to make your water delicious, this is my fave!

Do little things for yourself to give yourself gratitude and love and just feel good. I know I might sound crazy a little too positive but I've been down too. I been the "check on your withdrawn friend" friend and the "check on your strong friends" friend. I get it. I've been hiding the hiding my problems by getting blackout drunk and then functional to get my butt to work. Trust me, just because we haven't all had the same struggle doesn't mean I can't have empathy for your struggle. You never know what the person next to you is going through if they don't tell you. All I'm saying is when you get the chance to grab the swim floaties do all you can for you. Because you are loved, you are wanted, you will be missed if you're not hear. But find a purpose, goals, dreams. Feed your fire and live your best life. Because it's not just about what you mean to other people, yes it's great if what you mean to others is keeping you here, for now. Still, you have to find what's important to you. What are you here to fight for. Say it out loud. Say it with strength. Say it until it's the strongest voice you hear. You are absolutely amazing!

I say the things I believe and I say them with strength. And I mean it. And I will say it until you believe it too!

SELF LOVE AIN'T ALWAYS BODY LOVE--BUT IT CAN BE

My last post was about loving you even when you wanna change you. That you can love your plus-sized body and still strive to eat healthy and exercise. I really hope if you were struggling with that you came to see it doesn’t make you a traitor to your self-love to strive to be stronger. But a few days later I found a post that says body positivity was more than just nudity, crop tops, and bikinis. She is 100% correct. But if chakras have taught me anything. It’s that you gotta fix the root first.

The root chakra is associated with security, safety, survival, basic needs (food, sleep, shelter, self-preservation, etc.) grounding, support, foundation for living our lives and finally physicality, physical identity and aspects of self.  Essentially all those things that are skin deep. Next is your sacral and well that's where desire comes in and to your solar plexus where you define yourself and your heart chakra where you love yourself. That's a lot going on. But it really all seems to start with your physical view of yourself and feeling safe in that. 

Finding a way to accept and love your physical self is based on how we view ourselves but from a young age how we view ourselves is a learned behavior based on how others view us and what society teaches us is right or wrong with us. Being secure in your body in your nakedness, not necessarily publicly but when you look in your own mirror is a powerful emotion and sometimes requires becoming bare and raw in public. With that being said, I made a big step towards that in the past two weeks. I am still over 200lbs and I’m only 5’3” so there's a lot of rolls, and excess, and stretch marks and cellulite and as much as I love my body, baring it to the world was frightening as hell. 

Recently, though, I’d been inspired by plus-sized girls like me breaking out their bikinis and showing the world they cute as can be in all their glory. I posted on Facebook that I wanted the confidence to wear something like that. A week later, I bought me a two piece. A few days later, I wore it out in public. And did. And for the first time ever, I wasn’t feeling self-conscious about my belly being uncovered. It was amazing to realize how much I had stressed that moment in the past 15 years… since the last time I wore a bikini. I know I have, work to put in to continue my self love. I know I have work to put in to be my healthiest, strongest self. But just looking at how far I’ve come deserves celebration. 

I learned to put belief in myself. It came to fruition and man, it felt so good. I have a vision board at home but it needs revamping. I have a few more things, better goals I need to spill some belief in and a girl has the strength and the power to make it happen. I’m so thankful for the people that have surrounded me who build me up daily. From all sides, I’m blessed with love. It’s true what they say. What you focus on, you become. Follow your mind right on into believing in yourself and make what you desire happen. You can do great things, beautiful human.