Wake Up & Do The Things

If you asked me a few weeks ago if I was okay, you would've gotten a resounding and unapologetic no. If you ask me that same question this week, I guess it depends on the the hour. Logically, I know I'm going to be okay. But people who think with their hearts are usually less prone to logical reactions. My emotions are my enemy and my friend. My heart, my blessing and my curse. I don't regret that I do everything with my heart. It's who I am. It's who I've always been and although I suffer from RBF, I'm far from a hard candy shell.

 Alas, here I am, getting up every day and getting the things done. Going above and beyond for others. Spreading goodness into the world in the small ripples that I make. I mean I'm not all peace, love and rainbows, no matter how hard I try. My mouth is less sailor-like than a few years ago but the f-bombs still fly and my road rage is at status quo. And my hormones, bless them, because once I get in my feelings I get lost in Wonderland and my reactions are not my own. 

 I'm trying to "get my life together," whatever that means. I'm paying down my monstrosity of debt, I'm saving for my future, I'm splurging at the Walmart. I'm trying to feed my body and keep her moving and keep her hydrated. Walks alone on a trail, yoga with the yogis, sweating and hitting the weights. All little steps to better my physical self as well as my metaphysical self. My thoughts are my worst enemy at times and I can ugly cry with the best of 'em. I realize, I only get one life and there is no time for wasting away.

I'm taking on new challenges. Learning the new things, creating the art, taking chances and stepping out of the comfort of my 4 walls in a way I never really considered before. You see, this place I'm at is a place I've never been. Like, ever. So while it may look as though I'm in rut and going no where, I'm exploring the life that surrounds me so I can find the life I've been looking for, essentially. 

It's known to some but not to most, but every time I make a wish, I wish for happiness. All my life, well since I knew happiness was out there and I didn't feel it, I've wished for happiness. Birthday cakes, eye lashes, dandelions, shooting stars, every 11:11, I've always wished for happiness. I thought I found it once or twice, but I guess I was wrong. I think wonder if maybe I didn't know what happiness actually looked like or maybe I was expecting to find it in the wrong places. 

I've been given an opportunity, in this new place I've been dropped, to truly figure it out. In ways and opportunities I never would've imagined for myself. These are the days, that I truly realize just how grateful I am for all the things I've ever said I was grateful for. My support system has risen above and beyond. I am not the certain of the Universe and I know there are quite the shitty and sad things going on around us, everyday, but I am the center of the Universe I have to live in everyday.  I have to hear these thoughts and feel these feels and I'm so glad I'm getting to know the person inside me more and more. 

Shit doesn't just happen. People make choices. Those choices cause ripples. That's how life works. I'm just trying to make my ripples something to be proud of. Something that lights my soul on fire. I love you, beautiful humans. That's the gift I give freely to the world. Do with it as you wish.

Player One Leveled Up

I can't believe it's been nearly a month since I last posted. It's like I was on a high and then tragedy stuck. It's my own personal tragedy but it was unexpected and heart-wrenching and it threw all my hard work in the trash. Ever felt like you were useless? A floor mat at best. A stepping stone. Yeah, me too. My last post was about appreciation and value. And then to feel so undervalued. It was a slap in the face. My troubles are my own and I will move on. I put one foot in front of the other because that's the only choice I was given. Was it fair? No, but as we're often reminded life isn't fair. I wallowed and I cried... hell, I still cry. I still go through the motions of each day but as long as I don't quit I haven't lost.

I am Queen of the Hopefuls, no matter how hopeless that may sound. Giving up isn't in my DNA, loyalty is. I had decided the path my life was going down and now that path doesn't exist. So, my new plan is to live a life I can look back on and truly appreciate the experiences I've been through. I will do the yoga, stay healthy, get outside my comfort zone. I will find the trails and the rivers and paint with all the colors of the wind. (All kinds of Pocohontas over here.) I will take the pictures and get the tattoo. I will take the trips. I never wanted to live life alone but if alone is all I have right now I will still go out and live the life. 

I have committed to me. Because I am what I got. Yeah, I have family and friends but as a general rule it's just me. I'm an introvert so me has usually been all I've ever had and it's ok. Of course I want to share my life with someone because cuddles and kisses and love are what everyone deserves, if that's what they want. But for now, to Philly and the Caribbean and to Dallas and Disney, I'm choosing my own adventure. To enjoying the life I've been given and not accepting disrespect and pain. I have always known I will be the one who gives more than she receives but I won't accept less than makes me happy. 

In other news: I have fallen off on counting workouts and selfies but I'm still so very grateful for so many things in my life and I'm still working out and getting things done. I'm still working my way to ONE-derland and I still have an amazing support system. I have goals that I'm crushing everyday and I'm getting healthier and stronger every single day.  A little progress pic from my July post >>>(http://www.beautifulhappyplace.com/2017/07/stick-and-stay.html)

The SWEATING:

Sweat Camp 10 Week Fitness Challenge starts September 30th. Homework assignments interspersed throughout the face-to-face meetings. A great way to focus on your fitness and see real improvement. I'll be there because I am my wisest investment. 

https://www.facebook.com/NoLimitTraining203/

The YOGA:

I do yoga at home... and sometimes work, but there's something awesome about doing yoga with like minded people. And there is certainly something magickal about St. Anne's Chapel. So Monday, I plan to join those like-minded folks and get my namaste on. Wanna go?!

https://www.stanneschapel.com/

https://www.facebook.com/pg/SaintAnnesChapel/about/?ref=page_internal

https://www.facebook.com/events/667528323445425/?acontext=%7B%22ref%22%3A%2222%22%2C%22feed_story_type%22%3A%2222%22%2C%22action_history%22%3A%22null%22%7D&pnref=story

The NUTRITION:

I'm happy to introduce you to the love of my life, Spark, at anytime whatsoever. If you're looking to focus on what you're putting in your body and how to fuel your body the right way, I'd love to share my Advocare story with you. Like all good stories, it started with a challenge!