Work Harder On Yourself Than Anything Else

This title has become a theme in my life lately. So as ou may or may not know, I started working on myself physically in August of 2015 when I did my first AdvoCare 24 day Jumpstart. Since then, I've had a number of mental moments including but not limited to: depression, anxiety, and self deprecation. I've made little adjustments to relieve those incidents. Made changes in my personal life, adjust my finances around, made time here and there for myself, started working out for my sanity, began yoga. So I've put in some hours trying to figure this thing out. But you know what, I still have worked hard enough on myself.

You see, I'm a constant work in progress and will be until the day I stop breathing. Earlier this month, I went to AdvoCare's Success School. It's a huge event with lots of information but one of my favorite parts is the inspiration and motivation that pours into that stadium. It's truly an amazing experience. Work harder on yourself  than anything else was one of my biggest takeaways that weekend. I realized that while I had been working on my physical self , my surrounding environment, and my outside stressors but not once had I worked on me from the inside. I talked about it but I didn't really put in the work.

Shortly after, Success School, I started listening to the "Notes on Success." It's a compilation of messages recorded on various occasions by late AdvoCare Founder, Charles E. Ragus. It's incredible. I've listened to it 4 times in the last two weeks. Yes, it's that powerful. Once again, that phrase appeared. "You have to work harder on you than anything else..." And since I've heard it 4 times now it's really started to make me think. It made me want to really look inside and see what I could do about me. To see what changes I could make inside of me that would release ripples of change, ripples of success, ripples of grace and kindness, into the world around me.

I had made some goals after that trip to Texas and one of them was reading a leadership book every other month. That doesn't sound like much, but I also read for fun so my idea was that I could mix in leadership and fantasy world reading and create balance. I didn't know what kind of book or have an idea of a title but I was gonna do it. Fast forward, to last week and a friend posting about hosting an online book study group on The Fringe Hours, (see my post yesterday), and although it wasn't technically a leadership book it is about making you better by taking care of you. And really taking care of you enables you to be the best leader you can be. I'm so glad I did that. I'm so glad I took that step. I've never done a book study with a anyone so it was something new, but my heart knew it was something important.

I've also noticed the people around me are searching for this too. Seeing something in their life isn't where it should be. Not knowing what it is or where to start fixing it and I think they may be where I am. Needing to look inside and see what to do there. You don't have to post a big blog post like me, this is my therapy. But you can take a small quiet step just for you to make some of those inner changes. Because you can only control what you can control so don't try to do the impossible. We're all in a season and seasons change so getting overwhelmed isn't gonna help. 

I have taken some real steps to becoming my best me by looking at the woman in the mirror, to paraphrase Michael Jackson. I have to be the change I want to see in the world. It's about not giving up on the things I tell myself I'm gonna do for me. Yesterday, I posted a question on facebook asking for some different self love/self empowerment books and I got quite a few suggestions, especially in my inbox. So I created a wishlist on Amazon for myself and you can click on it and explore the titles for yourself. Head's up all the titles are not the most family friendly so just beware if that's something that bothers you. But these were suggestions given to me both faith and non faith based.

I hope you find a gem  Let me know if you found something different to add to the list. Or if this rings at all true to you. Maybe if you just need someone to talk to. I'll do my best, just like I know you will too. Now go out and be happy, little, beautiful humans surrounded in the good vibes you're sending out!

This One's For The Girls...

Sometimes I sit and wonder what in the world I am doing with my life. Some days I'm like yep this, this is where I'm supposed to be. More often than not though, I'm sitting and stressing over what I HAVE to do so I don't disappoint someone else. So I hold myself to what someone else needs or wants me to do rather than take care of myself and say no when I need to say no.

That look of disappointment from a loved one when you know what decision they wanted you to make and you can feel them calling you selfish for choosing to make yourself happy for a second. That letting down friends because you really just don't want to be social. That not choosing to do something that you're expected to do because you really just can't and you want to be there and prove yourself and do all the things but it's gonna be the straw that breaks your back if you add one more piece.

Recently, I joined a group of ladies to start reading the book The Fringe Hours and I am soooo happy I did. Y'all all that disappointment I was talking about and self doubt. Apparently, every woman deals with it. I'm not saying I don't hurt those feels of those people I let down but most of that guilt I feel on the inside is self imposed. I did that. I don't give myself permission to do what I need. I don't give myself permission to venture out and live my own life. I am mean to me. You know what happens when you're mean to you? Everyone else whether inadvertently or not is mean to you too.

That's right, by not giving yourself permission to live your best life you are giving others permission to steal your joy, even if they don't mean to. Stop it. Say to yourself, right now, "I deserve my best life." Because you do. Letting go of things is hard. Moving on is hard. But not doing the best for you will kill you faster than you ever expected. Don't be afraid to stand up for you and your needs. Don't be afraid to be your own advocate.

I'm not saying to turn your back on your loved ones with a "whateva, I do what I want" type of attitude. But whatever you do don't be what's blocking you. Find your best fit. it might not be balanced 50/50. Maybe you're a 70/30 or an 80/20 kind of girl but never forget that if you give your 100% to the world there's nothing left of you. Be the most amazing beautiful human you can be!!

Lucky In Life

I realize more and more how fortunate I was to have a mom who trusted and respected me and allowed me to make decisions for myself growing up. She gave me opportunities for experiences and chances to learn things and accept things that others around me would never receive. I really took it for granted that other people were allowed to live their lives just like I was, but they weren't. Many lived under so much control and missed out on so much.

For that, I just want to tell my mama thank you. When my anxiety strikes and I lash out or shut down. Those days when I don't want to be hugged. Those days when I need too much. You never let me down and I am blessed. No wonder everyone claimed you. You are truly one of a kind and I aspire to be the mother you have been to me, one day.

You're the greatest and Shorty and I are so lucky to get to have you. And I know we don't say it or show it enough but just know that we never forget the fabulous woman who brought us to this Earth. I love you mama!

*proceed with the tears*

A Journey of Growth Isn't One of Comfort

This past weekend I took a big step outside of my comfort zone. I flew halfway a across the country for the second time in 6 months. Except, this time I was "all by myself." It was probably the scariest thing I've done in awhile. It's no secret that I'm a southern country girl. I accept that. So maneuvering airports, especially DFW which is the size of a small town, and renting a car for the first time and driving myself through a big city I know nothing about was nerve racking. But I did it. Each step I was like, "ok, one more step, you got this." And you know what? I did have it.  Yes, I was meeting some amazing people there but I was stepping all out of my bubble. I have a tendency to do what I know. But I committed to this and, well, I was gonna see it through.

I'm so glad I did. I went looking for something. I didn't know what but it was something. See, last summer, when I left Success School, I really thought I had a plan. I had figured out my purpose in life and I was ready. I paid off my first credit card and I was on my way Except it didn't work out that way, and my world crumbled shortly thereafter. I was devastated and depressed again and going through the motions. It was not a fun time to be me. And while I pulled myself back together into a semblance of "got it together adult," I was still a little lost on my future. I was focused on work, and starting back to school (again,) but I had just accepted that it was gonna take me a million years to pay off my debt so I was just gonna not even.

Enter, February 1st. The day of conquering. I did it. I got into that stadium and surrounded by familiar faces and opened up my hearts ears ready to be poured into. And I was. There were 3 big takeaways for me. The first was a story about a young woman who at 27 years old had no children, owned a Saturn and had close to $30,000 worth of debt. At 30, she was living with her mom; she was broke and broken. She was me. She's now 34 and she has an amazing life at her fingertips. She showed me what my past could mean for my future.

The second story was about a young lady who at 21 had everything life could ask for because she worked hard and stayed focused. She had no idea where she was going with it though. She didn't know what set her heart on fire. She knew she could make choices but a life without a purpose as I've discussed before is one you don't hold onto. But you know what she told me? your purpose will surface. Just because I don't have all the answers right now I can work towards it. I won't be lost forever. I'm fixing the roof before it rains. I took that advice and set myself small attainable goals: 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and a year out. Things I could work toward till I found my vision.

The last on, taught me that Rome wasn't built in a day. She made sure I knew that I could change my direction, one degree at a time. I didn't have to put all this pressure on myself to figure it all out yesterday. Setting goals that I can meet will keep me encouraged. So no matter how small that goal may seem, I will celebrate it. As long as I'm headed in the right direction I'm doing just fine. She also said, my direction will change again and that's okay too. I have to change directions more than once to make real progress in my future. Life takes twists and turns all the time and I am fired up to see where this yellow brick road leads. 

I want to thank these ladies. You see, they have no idea who I am today, but one day they will. Cynthia Pena, Lauren Kirshblum, and Kristie McGihon(who I kinda geeked about seeing in the airport lol), thank you for your stories. Thank you for your inspiration. Y'all left a mark on me that I am so grateful for and I look forward to growing just as you did. An Emerald 9 star, a rising star, a hall of famer. Amazing ladies to look up to. This company has given me an opportunity, but the culture of Advocare is love and acceptance to see me where I stand and that is something I can never be too grateful for. And Torrie and Cricket, thank you ladies for cheerleading when I need it but more so for caring when you didn't have to. For showing me this is about relationships and friendships over everything..

We win by helping others win. It's not about me. It's about helping other people, help other people. Truly a one of a kind community. I'm so lucky to have landed here.