This week has been a hectic one. A Monday that you really feel the mondays to a Hump Day that's much too long. But it's been A good week. I had some attitude problems, I needed to check at the door but you know I've survived. My hormones seem to be a leaning a little more to the Incredible Hulk's sense of control and less She-Hulk. Deep breathing has been my friend this week.
There have been some positives. I have made some new friends in my fitness group. I have planned out how to pay off my credit cards in 4 years. That might not sound like a feat but 20 g's in credit card debt is a scary mountain to climb. I have not given up on school even though I will have to pay for it myself, one day. I'm on day 10 of a much needed cleanse and while I haven't lost any weight I do feel sludge-free. I have had 130 oz of water today when my goal was only 110 and I have 16.9 more in this cup right here. That's hard y'all and my bladder is mad as hell. But I really love challenges. Especially health-goal related challenges.
It's really so nice to know I'm working hard to heal my body. I have also worked out everyday but two since July 22, that's 9 whole workouts. And I've somehow managed to not feel completely and ridiculously sore (thanks, Nighttime Recovery!) Knowing I'm keeping my endorphins going has really helped to not let things that would have gotten me all the way down and out roll off my back. With minimal pouting, at least. This is a nice change in my life. It's nice to be able to get out the things that are driving me mad. It's nice to be able to put them into the universe.
Writing has given me something I really needed. Something I haven't felt since my first blog. A way to set the struggles that weigh on my shoulders down and to feel a release. To know that I may vent and complain, I'm only human, but i try to balance that with some positive thought. I know people see that. I know people are watching. That's not vanity, it's humanity. So on to the more positive focus of the week. It's almost done. It's a pay week (Hallelujah!) I have a lot of good to focus on in the coming weeks. I have a mindset to put my head down and put in work and don't look up will I'm done.
I have a new goal. I've talked a lot about not seeing a future for me and then finding some goals for myself and fighting for them but I saw something yesterday that is truly true to me heart. There's someone in my life who deserves all the love and praise I'll never be able to give her. She's been my rock just as many times as I've been hers and even if I don't want hugs I still need her each and every day so my new goal is for her...
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