You know that feeling when everything is just right. You can just feel yourself moving in the right direction. But then you keep looking over your shoulder cause you know this just can't be real. This can't be your normal. Seeing the evolution of your life in real time is hard. Honestly, most people take weeks, months, years to actually be able to look at their lives and realize it's different. It's so much different than it used to be. We often need to do a self check, an inventory if you will and see what things we used to have, see how things used to be and really look at what is now. We still need work towards changing the things we aren't proud of or happy with. But give that grace. Be grateful for for the positive changes. Give yourself a, "I did that," celebration. A gift, a treat, a physical award to hang on your mirror. Just a reminder that you may be a work in progress but look how far you've come.
I know sometimes I get so caught up in how far I still have to go I forget that little bit of advice. I forget to be proud of myself for taking charge and changing the things I can. I get so caught up in the things I can't control that I forget that I have made such positive waves in how I handle the things I actually have control of. I have stepped up out of the uncomfortable in ways I never imagined and have made moves for myself. Often still, I remind myself of things I'm not proud of. Things I know I can do better. The other night, I was on the phone with a friend and I said it out loud. I know I have a tendency to be a bad friend. It's not purposeful. It's not because I don't love my friends. I want each of them to be happy and healthy but I get into a space and I inadvertently disappear. Without warning, without a thought. I'm just in the silence.
I enjoy it there sometimes but I have to remember to pull myself out and function and interact on purpose. I don't know if you know what it's like to be an introvert but that takes like actual work. I have to make myself function enough to sustain "normalcy" sometimes. It's hard. I know those closest to me expect it by now but I still feel bad and I still try to apologize. There are times when I just can't that I will send snail mail just so they know I'm thinking of them. I didn't forget. I still care. I'm still here. There's something so special about getting a card that makes me happy and I want them to feel that too. To know that, that is my way of reaching out. Speaking of, go here and join the list for some snail mail too.
My takeaways for today are just don't be so hard on yourself and how far you have to go when you've already some so far. Take a few minutes to just journal. This is one of my journals obviously, but i have many that I carry around with me. Never know when you might have an epiphany or need a quick therapy session. Get you one today, they're fairly cheap on Amazon and you don't even have to go anywhere. And also, about that rewarding and acknowledging yourself, check this out.
You're amazing. Don't let you tell you different. Self-care is after all, the best care. So continue being the beautiful human that you are. Hold yourself accountable, but throw the confetti when necessary. Be the change.
No comments:
Post a Comment