She's The Quiet One With The RBF

You ever think about what it would be like to not be the shy one? The quiet one? The one everyone always thinks is mad? I do. My small circle probably thinks I never shut up but they know around new people and in new situations I don't interact. I don't want to be hugged or touched. I'm a cuddler and I love affection but on a very, small and intimate scale. People treat you differently. Either because they think you're rude or stuck up or because they don't understand or know how to interact with you.

It's frustrating for sure but I've been this way all my life so it's all I know. I have taken many strides to be as social is I am. To interact with strangers at a store. To hug family members. To not sit on the couch and just observe at family gatherings. To try to put myself out into the world the way the "people who succeed" do. Because let's face it, usually you have to be an outgoing extrovert to be heard. I'm not outgoing, and I'm not an extrovert. Although, I love being in public and feeling the energy of those around me, it's exhausting.


Recharging is so very necessary. I spend a lot of time alone. I have random conversations that will never happen in my head. I make all the plans and do all the things for people except (unless I bite the bullet and do the things when no one is looking) often they'll never know I even considered half the things I do. Being an introvert is hard. Being a shy introvert is the hardest. I say things that people don't hear. I do things that people never see. Sometimes it's nice to be invisible. Other times it's lonely.

Don't judge people for not being like you. Don't assume they're mean because they don't smile and they're quiet. Don't intimidate them in to being like you. Understand that all people are different. All interactions aren't what you expect them to be. Don't assume you can't have a real friendship with someone just because they aren't talking your ear off. Sometimes those people need someone like me to do all the listening. But when I speak, take a seat a lend an ear. And when I need to recharge, don't take it personally.We can hang out on the couch and binge watch Big Bang Theory in silence and still be bonding.

This goes for family too. Don't treat your loved ones differently just because they don't stand out from the crowd. I've always felt the pressure from different people because I wasn't who they expected me to be just because we share blood. Realize, that isn't how biology works. We're not clones. And especially at the holidays, when you see family you don't see very often. There is no fault for being different. For observing. For being silent. Accept it. You wanna be loud and entertaining? We the quiet people appreciate the entertainment.

Have the happiest of all the holidays, beautiful humans!